Happy Fathers' Day to Our Sons!
This is a very special Fathers' Day in the Vick household! We are anticipating the births of two granddaughters in the fall! Our two sons and our beautiful daughters-in-love are expecting babies, and we are in that glorious, twilight, gaga world of almost-new-grandparenthood! We are, quite simply, in love with these two little ladies-yet-to-come. So today I want to take a little time and speak to our sons about their upcoming role as "daddy."
Dear Tanner and Tristan,
This time next year, you'll be enjoying Fathers' Day as actual fathers! Dad and I are so excited for you both! That "been there, done that" thing has us knowing the joys and challenges that your new adventure holds, and there is so much we want to share with you!
1. First of all, NEVER lose the wonder of this precious life that God has entrusted to you! While your baby is busy growing inside of her mommy right now, amazement is almost natural! Every week, you learn of some new development in your baby's growth, some new way of seeing that she is "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14) -- senses sharpening, skeleton growing and becoming stronger, neurological connections being made. And the sonograms give you a peak at fingers, tiny feet, a beating heart, facial profile -- it's incredible! Your baby will arrive when she is ready, and there will be more amazement -- to finally meet this little person you've been waiting for nine months to hold! While the newborn stage is indeed miraculous, I urge you to continue to look for the incredulous in each stage of your child's life. Because it is there! Early milestones of learning to walk, talk, and express her preferences will be celebrated by all! But don't miss all that happens after those baby steps are taken! There will be cause to celebrate and marvel as your child discovers her gifts and talents and how to use them, as she masters various benchmarks in her academic career, as she encounters various life situations and works out solutions to whatever challenges come her way. Don't let the magic get away from you! Celebrate that toddler, that preschooler, that elementary kiddo, that struggling preteen, that emerging young adult! At every stage of her life, there will be treasure -- some right on the surface and some to be mined with delicacy and patience. But it will be yours for the taking! You two are adult men, and I still marvel at you, your lives, your accomplishments, your relationships, and your character. You will do well to do the same with your children.
2. Remember, too, that you're not alone in this "daddy gig." Those babies have grandparents, aunts, and uncles, close family friends, and church family who are also members of that baby girl's fan club, and they stand ready to help and encourage at every turn! Need a break? I bet there's a grandma or grandpa who is more than willing to jump in and babysit for a few hours (or days!). Need some advice? Check with a cousin or close friend whose baby has already navigated those waters to see how they've handled things. Need some prayers because this whole thing just seems overwhelming? You've got a whole army of prayer warriors on your side! Just say the word! Think back, too, to how your own dad handled things. He'll be the first to admit that he wasn't a perfect father, but YOU'LL be the first to admit that he loved you at every turn and was ALWAYS there for you. And as you go through all that being a father entails, write your experiences on your heart. Because the way that God works is that He uses someone who's been through tough times to encourage others with stories of His faithfulness and victory in his own life. YOU will be that someone to another dad one day. And ultimately, God Himself will be your guide as you lead this new life. "For this God is our God for ever and ever; He will be our guide to the end." -- Psalm 48:14
3. Which leads me to my third point. With God as your guide, prayer and parenting according to His Word are essential. Make it a habit now -- before your baby girl is even born -- to pray for her. All. The. Time. Every time you have a thought about her, turn that thought into a prayer. Speak your concerns to God. Share your excitement and delight with God. Open your heart's questions to God. Lift up your thanks for each new avenue this little blessing allows you to explore. Because guess what. He's a Father, too. And He wants nothing more than to draw you close to His heart as you share this experience with Him. And while you both are very smart men, raising a child will quickly reveal to you just how much you have to learn! It's very disconcerting to arrive home from the hospital and frantically search through all of your belongings only to discover that the "owner's manual" is missing! But the Lord doesn't leave you helpless. He gives you the words of life in HIS Word! In some places, you'll find direct advice for raising children. He'll give you examples of "how-to's" and "how-not-to's" through stories in the Bible. But just as importantly, He'll give you direction in how to live YOUR life so that your CHILD'S life is impacted. Listen for His still voice in His Word, and never miss an opportunity to lift up your child's name to His throne. He knows your "daddy" heart. He has one, too.
4. Being responsible for a whole new life is a daunting responsibility. But at every stage of your child's life, you will come to a crossroad. You will come to a decision point. You will question yourself and whether or not you've led your child as you should. Whether you've given the best of yourself to your child. And your child -- who you would give your own life for -- may take the best that you can possibly give and trample your heart underfoot with no visible signs of regret or concern. And if that day comes, the enemy of your soul will joyfully swoop in and do his best to plant doubt and despair and fear and worry and hurt and bitterness and anger in your wounded, weary, tender heart. But if you hear nothing else that I say to you as I write this, HEAR THIS: YOU are the one whom God has chosen to be this child's father. YOU are the one He has blessed with this privilege and responsibility. YOU are the one He stands ready to equip and strengthen for the task at hand. YOU CAN DO THIS.
5. In the end, there will be things that happen that are out of your control or that just don't go according to the plans you have for your child. You may make a parenting mistake (we all do) or make a snap judgment or speak harsh words or break a promise or bruise a tender heart. That precious child may make choices that hurt your heart or take her off the best path for her life. She may keep you up late at night. She may have you wearing holes in the knees of your jeans from being in prayer for her so much. She may -- no, she WILL -- do things that are out of your control. And here is where you MUST find rest. As much as she is already a part of your life, she will never be your own. She belongs to GOD, and He has chosen YOU to steward her life. You will naturally dream dreams for her, make plans for her, imagine her future. But ultimately, SHE AND GOD are writing her story. When your hands tentatively release her, remember that she doesn't fall into black nothingness. She falls from the hands of her father into the arms of her Father. And it's gonna be okay.
Dad and I are thrilled beyond description for you, your wives, and your babies-in-waiting! We are proud of the men and husbands you have become, and we look forward to watching you grow and mature in your roles as fathers!
Love always,
Mom
Dear Tanner and Tristan,
This time next year, you'll be enjoying Fathers' Day as actual fathers! Dad and I are so excited for you both! That "been there, done that" thing has us knowing the joys and challenges that your new adventure holds, and there is so much we want to share with you!
1. First of all, NEVER lose the wonder of this precious life that God has entrusted to you! While your baby is busy growing inside of her mommy right now, amazement is almost natural! Every week, you learn of some new development in your baby's growth, some new way of seeing that she is "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14) -- senses sharpening, skeleton growing and becoming stronger, neurological connections being made. And the sonograms give you a peak at fingers, tiny feet, a beating heart, facial profile -- it's incredible! Your baby will arrive when she is ready, and there will be more amazement -- to finally meet this little person you've been waiting for nine months to hold! While the newborn stage is indeed miraculous, I urge you to continue to look for the incredulous in each stage of your child's life. Because it is there! Early milestones of learning to walk, talk, and express her preferences will be celebrated by all! But don't miss all that happens after those baby steps are taken! There will be cause to celebrate and marvel as your child discovers her gifts and talents and how to use them, as she masters various benchmarks in her academic career, as she encounters various life situations and works out solutions to whatever challenges come her way. Don't let the magic get away from you! Celebrate that toddler, that preschooler, that elementary kiddo, that struggling preteen, that emerging young adult! At every stage of her life, there will be treasure -- some right on the surface and some to be mined with delicacy and patience. But it will be yours for the taking! You two are adult men, and I still marvel at you, your lives, your accomplishments, your relationships, and your character. You will do well to do the same with your children.
2. Remember, too, that you're not alone in this "daddy gig." Those babies have grandparents, aunts, and uncles, close family friends, and church family who are also members of that baby girl's fan club, and they stand ready to help and encourage at every turn! Need a break? I bet there's a grandma or grandpa who is more than willing to jump in and babysit for a few hours (or days!). Need some advice? Check with a cousin or close friend whose baby has already navigated those waters to see how they've handled things. Need some prayers because this whole thing just seems overwhelming? You've got a whole army of prayer warriors on your side! Just say the word! Think back, too, to how your own dad handled things. He'll be the first to admit that he wasn't a perfect father, but YOU'LL be the first to admit that he loved you at every turn and was ALWAYS there for you. And as you go through all that being a father entails, write your experiences on your heart. Because the way that God works is that He uses someone who's been through tough times to encourage others with stories of His faithfulness and victory in his own life. YOU will be that someone to another dad one day. And ultimately, God Himself will be your guide as you lead this new life. "For this God is our God for ever and ever; He will be our guide to the end." -- Psalm 48:14
3. Which leads me to my third point. With God as your guide, prayer and parenting according to His Word are essential. Make it a habit now -- before your baby girl is even born -- to pray for her. All. The. Time. Every time you have a thought about her, turn that thought into a prayer. Speak your concerns to God. Share your excitement and delight with God. Open your heart's questions to God. Lift up your thanks for each new avenue this little blessing allows you to explore. Because guess what. He's a Father, too. And He wants nothing more than to draw you close to His heart as you share this experience with Him. And while you both are very smart men, raising a child will quickly reveal to you just how much you have to learn! It's very disconcerting to arrive home from the hospital and frantically search through all of your belongings only to discover that the "owner's manual" is missing! But the Lord doesn't leave you helpless. He gives you the words of life in HIS Word! In some places, you'll find direct advice for raising children. He'll give you examples of "how-to's" and "how-not-to's" through stories in the Bible. But just as importantly, He'll give you direction in how to live YOUR life so that your CHILD'S life is impacted. Listen for His still voice in His Word, and never miss an opportunity to lift up your child's name to His throne. He knows your "daddy" heart. He has one, too.
4. Being responsible for a whole new life is a daunting responsibility. But at every stage of your child's life, you will come to a crossroad. You will come to a decision point. You will question yourself and whether or not you've led your child as you should. Whether you've given the best of yourself to your child. And your child -- who you would give your own life for -- may take the best that you can possibly give and trample your heart underfoot with no visible signs of regret or concern. And if that day comes, the enemy of your soul will joyfully swoop in and do his best to plant doubt and despair and fear and worry and hurt and bitterness and anger in your wounded, weary, tender heart. But if you hear nothing else that I say to you as I write this, HEAR THIS: YOU are the one whom God has chosen to be this child's father. YOU are the one He has blessed with this privilege and responsibility. YOU are the one He stands ready to equip and strengthen for the task at hand. YOU CAN DO THIS.
5. In the end, there will be things that happen that are out of your control or that just don't go according to the plans you have for your child. You may make a parenting mistake (we all do) or make a snap judgment or speak harsh words or break a promise or bruise a tender heart. That precious child may make choices that hurt your heart or take her off the best path for her life. She may keep you up late at night. She may have you wearing holes in the knees of your jeans from being in prayer for her so much. She may -- no, she WILL -- do things that are out of your control. And here is where you MUST find rest. As much as she is already a part of your life, she will never be your own. She belongs to GOD, and He has chosen YOU to steward her life. You will naturally dream dreams for her, make plans for her, imagine her future. But ultimately, SHE AND GOD are writing her story. When your hands tentatively release her, remember that she doesn't fall into black nothingness. She falls from the hands of her father into the arms of her Father. And it's gonna be okay.
Dad and I are thrilled beyond description for you, your wives, and your babies-in-waiting! We are proud of the men and husbands you have become, and we look forward to watching you grow and mature in your roles as fathers!
Love always,
Mom
