She sat across from me in the restaurant booth, chatting about school and books and all things important to a first grader. Her happy demeanor was a far cry from what her mom had described a few days earlier.

This sweet kiddo had burst into her mom’s room a few minutes before bedtime, collapsing in tears. Her uncontrollable sobbing clearly indicated something broken and hurting deep inside. After being held and soothed by her mom’s comforting embrace for quite a while, little one finally opened up about her heartache. An episode with “friends” at school had left her crushed by unkind words and the sting of being excluded. After a long day of stuffing in the hurt, she had finally let it all out in the safe arms of her mom.

And now, here we were – precious granddaughter and Milly – sharing life over a plate of cinnamon roll French toast and mugs of hot chocolate. I gradually steered the conversation to the subject of friendships.

There was a bit of déjà vu as I shared with her the same truth I’d shared with my two older granddaughters in the past. “Sweetie, you’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. And trust me, you don’t want to be everyone’s cup of tea.” I empathized with her pain (gosh, I still remember the “ouch!” of hard little girl friendship moments 50+ years later!). But as we talked about the actions of a true friend, she realized that based on how these girls had behaved toward her, they clearly were not her friends.

I encouraged her to keep in mind the qualities of a true friend, to strive to have those qualities in herself, and to ask God to bring into her life some friends who were also seeking to grow in those qualities.

In reflecting on that little date with my grandgirl, I was reminded of Isaiah 47. God addresses the enemy of His people. He recounts their evil deeds and their idolatry. He mocks the fire that they build for themselves. “Here there are no coals to warm anyone; here is no fire to sit by.” (Isaiah 47:8) There’s absolute futility in their every effort to find comfort and guidance.

I thought instead of a different kind of fire that brings blessing and joy. And I thought of what I want for that little seven-year-old…

Oh, sweet girl! I pray for wisdom for you. I pray that as you circle up around the campfire of friendship, you will first make certain that the glow of the flames where you warm yourself comes from the Spirit of God. I pray that God will bring around that circle others who love Him and love you. I pray that He will give you eyes to recognize the fake, the mean, the selfish - and courage to distance yourself from them. I pray that He will give you strength and patience to wait on Him as He fills in your circle with others also longing for good, true, God-honoring friendships. Lonely is hard, but when that campfire is finally surrounded by beautiful souls glowing in the radiance of Christ, your heart will be happy in the truest way!

This side of heaven, your friends will still let you down occasionally. From time to time, they’ll disappoint you and maybe even hurt your feelings. And you will do the same. It’s natural – you’re human. But as you journey through life, remember that “there is a Friend Who sticks closer than a brother.” (Proverbs 18:24b) A never-failing, always-on-your-side, cheering-you-on Friend. His name is Jesus, and He sits at the campfire with you and your friends.