Toppling Towers or Building Up?

When they’re younger, children tend to play beside each other rather than with each other. Take two boys deeply occupied in their individual play. One is mouthing car and motor noises as he “drives” his pocket cars from one spot in the room to another. The other boy is carefully stacking blocks to create his version of a strong tower. He at last steps back to admire his finished structure. Out of sight, his buddy sees not a tower, but a challenge. He casually walks away from his pocket cars, approaches the tower, and with a swift swing topples the builder’s masterpiece.

I’m going to guess that you’ve heard the wail of a child whose sense of justice has been seriously offended. Tears and words that are too fraught with emotion to make sense pour from the mouth of that broken-hearted kid. The offender often walks away from the scene of the crime with no sense of remorse or responsibility. He just enjoys the thrill of knocking down a tall tower. In a perfect world, a caring adult intervenes to make things right again and to mete out appropriate, wise consequences to the offender.

But what happens with us grown-ups? We spend a chunk of our lifetimes building a healthy tower of emotions, relationships, and ideas. We tweak things along the way to ensure stability in our lives. We add a block here, a block there, and we enjoy peace and security. Then out of nowhere, one cutting remark strikes our hearts like a sledge hammer, and our towers of well-being topple. If only we could wail like a preschooler! But no – somewhere along the way, we’ve learn to suppress the pain caused by those powerful, hurtful words. We’re leveled – silent but deeply wounded, tears choked back behind the façade of indifference.

Isn’t the power of words both terrifying and amazing? A harsh word that hits the target is enough to emotionally cripple us. Conversely, though, one word of blessing can bring hope, relief, and comfort.

Precisely because of the power of the spoken word, we carry the responsibility of guarding our speech and allowing biblical principles to guide what we say and how we say it.

Cruel words spoken in anger or frustration can leave a child or spouse wounded in spirit. Or worse – those ideas may be internalized to create in their minds the belief that they’re unloved and unlovable. Gossip and slander may taste juicy in the moment, but they slice the reputations of others to shreds and destroy friendships. James compares the potential damage of our words to when “a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.” (James 3:5b) Proverbs 12:18 says, “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

Why not ask the Holy Spirit to help you channel your speech as a vessel of blessing for the good of others? As destructive as unkind remarks are, words of encouragement and edification bring restoration and hope. Proverbs 15:4 says, “The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.” Ephesians 4:29 instructs God’s people to speak “only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Our speech is to be full of life-giving truth as Colossians 4:6 says: “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” We are to be a people who speak with integrity so that our words and our actions are consistent as Titus 2:7b-8 tells us: “In your teaching show integrity, seriousness, and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.”

Ask God to give you wisdom to speak words of life and restraint to be silent in all other situations. Pray as David did in Psalm 141:3: “Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.” Proverbs 13:3 says, “Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin.”

Our words reveal our true character. May the overflow of our hearts reveal the good treasure we’ve received as children of God. May the overflow of our hearts produce words that lead the lost to Jesus. And may the overflow of our hearts pour forth speech that honors and glorifies our good Father.

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“The good man brings forth good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.” – Luke 6:45

“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” – Psalm 19:14